Agony

 Janine, my child, you have grown. You have become all the more and more of Jesus for you walked the walk with Him in your yesterday, not only in His peace and joy, but also in His agony.

To walk with Jesus is to become one with Him in His peace and in His agony. Your agony yesterday became His and His became yours. You knew in that instant that you were in an agony of your own that was also the agony of Jesus.

Janine, I make it simple. You tasted agony yesterday. Your agony had no form that you could name but you felt a deep agony. In relationship with Jesus you felt your agony and the agony of Jesus at the same time. 

Life is walking you into awareness that the only holding that keeps you whole is Jesus. Wholeness is awareness that agony has no other name but agony. Your agony was being held by Jesus but it could not be taken away. You knew the hold of Jesus within this agony and you knew the agony of Jesus as He held you. Agony is agony and has no other name.